Üvegember

Üvegember vagyok, állok mozdulatlan
A sűrű utcákon, a nagyvilágban
Közel jönnek és keresztül néznek rajtam
És rohannak tovább az éjszakában
Valaki hozzámér - néha megtörténik
Szilánkokra törten fekszem odalent
De csak értetlen és üres szemmel nézik
Nem látják a táncoló fényt odabent.

De kitesznek újra, és újra és újra
És egy hideg napon te is arra jársz
Mindketten vágyunk már a szépre és újra
És meglátod bennem azt, amire vársz
Látsz is, nem csak nézel, látod, amit más nem
De az üveg szürke, nem érted, miért
Nem szabadulhatok, állok türelmetlen.
Mentsd hát meg az üvegember életét!

Fesd hát az arcomra (ragadj egy ecsetet)
Azt a boldogságot, amit adsz nekem
Mázolj a lelkemre gyönyörű remeket
(Mártsd be újra,) hajnalig maradj velem
Évek múltán most életre kelek talán
Igazi arcomon új mosolyt hagyok
Vigye kezed őszinte hűség, s azután
Hadd legyek végre már az, aki vagyok.

Lelkem tüze

Melankolikusan, szép remények nélkül
Szívemben kétségeim hűtik a vért
Számomra egy szoba már a Mennyben épül
Mihály arkangyal már a vállamhoz ért
Halandó életem örökre feladtam
Az ég értem zokog és a csillagok
Egy színdarabot adnak elő alattam
Mert ők azt hiszik, hogy már otthon vagyok.

Még a testem itt ül, árva asztal mellett
Csak egy gyufacsonk, más semmi rajta nincs
Meg egy lila gyertya - hát csak ennyi tellett
Mely csak büszke lánggal égve volna kincs
A lelkem tükrében figyelem és nézem
De az apró lángnyelv sosem lobban fel
Mert a kék szemeim jégből vannak; érzem
Már hiába minden, sírba visznek el.

De te mellémállsz és megfogod a kezem
Látja a Halál: angyal vagy - elenged
Nem ellenkezik, tudja, érted létezem
Barna szemeid szikrája melenget
Meggyullad a kanóc, lelkem lángra lobban
Az eltűnő sötétség a fénybe hajt
Hold elől futó Nap felkel nagy titokban
És így várok veled minden új hajnalt.

Kincs

A megrontott világ szürke mocsarában
Az élet és halál tiszta folyamában
Egy kincset keresek, keresem a mélyben
Egy sziklán elesek, elveszem az éjben

Nem halok meg soha, sorsom sokkal rosszabb:
Kínjaimnak sora éltemnél is hosszabb
Menekülök, érzem, megfojt ez az érzés
A szívemben vérzem, el nem áll a vérzés

A holt mélyben vagyok, a lelkem elillan
Kőszoborrá fagyok - de a mélyben csillan
Egy gyönyörű gyöngyszem! tenyerembe zárom
Mert ő az én kincsem, ő kell mindenáron

Az ő melegsége hevíti fel testem
Az ő közelsége oldozza el lelkem
És a szabad lélek oltárán vétkezem
Imádkozom, félek, meg ne csússzon kezem...

To a Friend

I should stop bothering you
Crying to you lifelong
I don’t say anything new
It’s just the same old song

But I can’t keep from singing
These lyrics of my heart
They control my everything
Like an ancient star chart

And you seem the only one
Who’s willing to hear me
And you are the only one
Who is not to fear me

You saw the places I saw
You know what is inside
You know of my every flaw
You see the things I hide

I was ungrateful, I think
You had much to give me
I didn’t give you a thing
So please... forgive me.

Lone Poet

My eyes are made of sapphire
But my tears are rubies
My spirit is born of fire
Fire I can’t release

My heart is a wall of stained glass
Holds the grief unspoken
If you’re unable to surpass
Easy to be broken

A crescent is my only sun
Darkness lifts me sky high
My enemies have all the fun
While I fail to pass by

Whom I made saint was a harlot
She has stolen my grace
Whom I trusted made the scarlet
Paintings onto my face

Yet I remember the old days
When I fought for the cause
But now I’m blinded by the haze
Now I fight just because

Nobody wants to sing along
No chance for a duet
Solitude is where I belong
For I’m a lone poet

I love you, idiot

My soul is desolate
But you can fix it all the time
I could as well be dead
But you’re the reason I’m alive
Not that I love you so
But you carry me till the top
I’ll always let you go
I’d rather die than hold you up

You always hold me up
But it’s okay cause I’m alone
I never want to stop
Cause your voice is my lovely tone
Your knight’s not amused
I know he’d kill me cold as ice
I’ll always be with you
In the blue mirror of your eyes

Your heart is my combat zone
I wait ’til he’s overthrown
Until then, I’ll try to grone
Completely - on my own...

Misery

Love’s an irredeemable deal
My heart can’t ever withdraw
Pain’s a thing unlikely to heal
Blue eyes go red of sorrow
I try to patch my lack of faith
Unhand all bitter feeling
I try to keep an even pace
But that way’s unappealing
’cause I search for you in their eyes
Doing that, I don’t forget
My soul’s dead, but love never dies
I’m Misery Incarnate...

Carnival Closed Down

Dodging the inevitable
Is like trying to run bound
Like I try to escape trouble
On an old merry-go-round

A ferris-wheel showed me the top
Cruelly gave me what I wanted
But it’s not the right place to stop
Now I stand there brokenhearted

I could cry a river up there
Up or down, it looks all the same
Why must I be lone everywhere?
Truly I’m the only to blame?

Or are they the illusionists
My shadows in every dark place?
Fallen angels, managed to kiss
Malformed smiles on my ugly face?

Now I get the point of the game
I’m fresh out of golden coins
Fake magicians lost all the fame
Their wands burn in rusty ruins

In that act, I lost my patience
I’m ready, let’s have the action!
Sweetly smiling Satans agents:
Here I demand satisfaction!

Fallen

When I know she won’t come tonight
But I stand till dawn awake
When I know she’s not worth the fight
But I don’t care what’s at stake
When I see her icy blue eyes
And blood’s burning in my heart
I try to throw off my disguise
But my hands are trembling hard
When I wait that magic moment
Which I’m waiting forever
Which could end my tragic torment
Giving myself up to her
When I feel a strong desire
Thirsty for her lovely voice
Feels like flaming in the fire
Of moments at I rejoice
When I close my aching eyelids
I see nothing but her smile
But a frantic feeling forbids
My soul to be versatile
It’s the feeling for I hunger
The grasp of that lovely girl
When I can’t bare any longer
’cause my thoughts are in a whirl
When her lips are gleaming brightly
They lure me like a blackhole
Every time she’s walking near me
Almost kills my self-control
When I think I needed all this
Pushing myself down to Hell
When I believe after that kiss
She was mad of me as well
When I’m frightened because I feel
I’ll never see her again
And I – unable to conceal –
Cry unworthy of a man
I fight myself by my own hand
As I don’t know common-sense
I’m ready to serve her will, and
Kill myself in self-defense
When I clearly know it’s all wrong
But I feel it’s good for me
I lay down and sing this sad song
And sink in love hopelessly...

Triangle

I can see you love him
Wanting you is my sin
You know I was dreaming
You know what’s the meaning
I know I was careless
And you couldn’t care less
I can love an angel
You can’t love a stranger

Why can’t we just you and me?
I would fight for you knightly
You’re like this and I’m like that
I’m better than him, I bet

To you, I’m a stranger
For me, you’re an angel
In heaven and careless
But I couldn’t care less
Love is all the meaning
I can see the gleaming
For you, I shed my skin
I’m sorry you love him

Rhetorical Questions

High on feelings, no concealings,
Who decides I’m upside down?
Acting gentle, going mental,
Who can tell if I look frown?
I’m so tender, pain’s my shelter,
A crown of torns is my crown.
So they shell me, oh, God, tell me,
What good is a crying clown?

Always haunted, stand dumbfounded,
Where did my way go astray?
When their word calls, I take their falls.
Why is my heart your ashtray?
I can’t hand it, I must stand it,
Why does red and blue go gray?
World is tainted, how you paint it,
Why can’t I just have my day?

Thirst for blood

World does have fiendish seasons
Men just always have the reasons
Someone calls it self-defense
Sometimes it just makes no sense
My bloodlust never ends...

Oh, that spring was kind of creepy
I sank in love with you deeply
Your red lips were fairly mild
I wanted you squarely, wild
One hellish, bloody ride...

Summer came for one day only
Charged me up and let me lonely
Closed my heart and threw the key
Left me tortured horribly
And made me bloodthirsty...

Autumn was just kindly painful
God loved me and made me grateful
Tried to help me let you go
But I still saw your shadow
A red, metallic glow...

Winter's dark eyes look so charming
Now I want to kill you, darling
All your lies will end today
Blood's a price I'll gladly pay
That's a deadly day...

I'm the new king
Your reign's over
Bow before my
Godly power
Knife is striking,
reddish shower,
Blood is sparkling,
my hallower...

I can see the dawn is coming
I can hear its deadly humming
Or maybe a bomb's ticking in my head,
Then I guess soon I'll be dead
Or maybe I've gone mad.
That's the best nightmare I had.

Every day, with every treason,
I had every reason.

Sorry, girl. You hurt me, and you keep hurting me.
But I never could hurt you.
Really.

Temptation

My wrecked soul is full of intruders
They just come and want me to get out
Every day, it’s only getting worse
I still don’t know what is this all about

Why do you want me to leave my own head?
Why can’t I just sleep in my bed?
Why do you want me to kindly die?
Why, why, why, why, why, why, why?

Fighting with this endless incursion
It’s so hopeless, and there’s nowhere to run
When I’m fresh out of ammunition
It seems there is always another one

Why do you want me to meet my own end?
Why can’t I just hold her sweet hand?
Why do you want me to burn the sky?
Why, why, why, why, why, why, why?

Living a life of benefaction
Even my demons think I’m psychotic
I will never join any faction
All my sins are making me chaotic

Why do you want me to lose my own faith?
Why can’t you just show your true face?
Why do you want me to close my eye?
Why, why, why, why, why, oh, why?

Going around

There’s a soft melody in my head:
Singing about my curse.
That feeling has me driven mad,
And it’s just getting worse.
I can’t stand it for too long
When I am unbound:
At the tower of love I go
Just around and around...

Before me lights are going on,
Behind me they are going out.
Between them fading pictures of
Whom I can’t live without
The image of her gleaming eyes,
Company of my bouncing lies.
My face just grins, but my heart cries,
For I’m a man of short goodbyes...

There’s a disturbing noise in my brain,
It’s saying I’m a fool,
’cause only suffering and pain
Are fueling my soul.
I have been deceived by a lie:
That love is meant to fail.
So I am just the poor fall guy
Of a creepy evening tale.

Before me lights are turning on,
And I feel I became crazy.
My life is a holy icon,
With my face where the Lord should be.
Oh, I have been nailed on your heart:
You are my cross, my beloved,
This Passion of me is so hard,
I want to ascend up the light..

I hate you, my beloved

I love you like you’re a kind of muse.
But I see you’re not really amused.
Why didn’t you ask, it’s all your fault...

I hate you for making me feel blue.
I hate you for making me love you.
It is like a sexual assault...

For love, pain is the prize I must pay,
No painkiller can take it away,
And it starts to make me feel insane...

Starts to feel like I will die this day,
But I want to live, to go my way.
Why don’t you just let me go away?

Sitting next to you, it just gets worse,
And we’re drawing surreal flowers,
Wonder if you even know my name...

I just waste my love and sanity,
Looking at your eyes, I go crazy
And because of you,
I can’t love who
Would deserve it: that is why I hate...

I ought to say hello

Hello.