Welcome to the next level.

Dear everyone!

I don't really know what to say. I have to thank you, my readers, all of you, for taking a look at my sad poems every now and then. I don't say you kept this blog alive - I did. :P But still, you were a great contribution and inspiration to me, and I won't forget that. Especially not the help of my dear friend Alev, and my brother Amin - the two of you gave me the most when it came to my poetry.

Why do I close this stuff? Because that's what I do, I close the site for good. This site. Maybe another one will open soon. Maybe never again. Who knows? I'm closing it because it belongs to Level 1, my other life, the life I lived before the one I'm living now. I was a lone poet, misery incarnate, who tried to break out from the shell. I was buried alive, I wanted to be loved... but I thought it's not what's meant for me.

Things changed. I have changed. For the better. Some people didn't think it's possible. I shoveled some in their face, yup. =) I'm stronger than I was before my depression, because now, I have overcome it, and I know how to overcome it. It didn't kill me - it made me stronger. I'm not lonely anymore. I have found my true love who is mine forever, and whom I give myself for all eternity. I have found faith, which is strong and eternal. I have found happiness, I have the perfect moments all the time. I have the time of my life. I stepped forward. Thanks to everyone who helped me on the way, and thanks to everyone who inspired me. I won't ever forget them! :)

Peace out, homies!

Lone Poet out.

Quick Answer III

It is just so you
To close the door when everything's on fire
And I know it's true
Now you feel you have nothing to inspire

I understand your heart's a thing
You don't want to share
But simply you just can't make me not care

Of course you can stop writing
You can cut the stream
But I won't keep my ears stopped
Not to hear a scream

Whatever...

Just don't worry
In the deepest dawn
The sun will hurry
Your happiness to spawn

Quick Answer II

I know it's burning
I know it aches
Yet you don't replace your real words with fakes
Right now it's open
Accidentally
Right now it just allows me to see

Pain is a mirror to look into
It's just more fun
Than the television of the world
It's just to make us feel the things we've never heard

Maybe inspiration is a free bird flown away
But you'll see it again on a rainy day

Quick Answer

Now the world for you is so flat
Nothing fills up emptiness that
Comes again and gets inside you
Makes to think of words so hard

Between darkness and elation
Therein lies the inspiration
Don't try to find it in the blue
Look for it within your heart

Sweet

From the broken horizon breaks out the crooked sunshine
I think it’s 5 am and you’re listening to my whine
I don’t cross the bridges
You don’t take the skylines
But deep inside I wish
Just we could have our times

Visit me in my dreams
Share me your desires
Be my remedy for eight hours, light up the fires

Come and give me aching
Sweet strawberry kisses
Tell me we’re making up for all the time my life misses

Yearning is a disease
And you infected me
I wish it’s going to end soon, I hope it is deadly

Go and give me calming
Mild apricot kisses
Look deep in my weary eyes and make me feel I exist

From behind the dark clouds slowly ignites the moonbeam
Wait again for the twilight that makes my soul swim upstream
Obvious, I know it
But I keep the silence
Just because I admit
All the dreams have no chance

Losing You Forever

Staring at the setting sun
Seems this day is getting done
Looks like I'm out of the maze
Got rid of this purple haze
I just can't keep my eyes on
This flaming red horizon
Not letting us together
So I lose you forever

From the splinters of my heart
I just throw away the part
Not allowed to keep inside
Have to extinguish my light
All the darkness in my soul
Burns like a chunk of charcoal
Tried to put it out with tears
It set afire my fears

Without hope, I feel lost
My faith in you helped me most
All is over, all is down
This feeling will make me drown
My emotions slowly whirled
Deep inside our astral world
May my spirit seek it through
Won't ever find one like you.

Cry of the Fool

Just wish I could tell you
Just wish I could tell who
But you wouldn't understand
So I cry and let your hand

I wish I could show it now
I only wish I knew how
But you wouldn't hear my word
Flustered heartbeats, never heard

You sure know I need you
You were keeping me alive
Always
I can't help I love you
I need you to help survive
All days

I wish I could tell you why
Wish I wouldn't have to lie
But not a word you'd believe
These bounds I can't relieve

I wish I could find a way
To let you know, make you say
Wish you could just make me see
Love is such a vanity

Confused

Why can't I say it out loud?
What am I so afraid of?
Why is there a rose red cloud
When I say it is not love?

Last time, it was a disaster
Can't let it happen again
I should learn to react faster
To my angel's crazy plan

Fall, fall with me
You are all my soul's desire
Run, run from me
You will get caught by the fire
Come, come to me
Wanna hear your heart's choir
I want to see
When a wonder takes me higher

Love is a liar

Touched

Again, those fervent vibrations
My heart slowly turning blind
Unseen, unknown constellations
I'm getting lost in your mind

Under the stars I want to lie
Watch them as they're bleeding milk
On your soul I want to get high
Touch your hand, it's sweet as silk

Be my sacrament in this grim
Deflorated underworld!
In the fountain of life we'll swim
And we'll ride the thunderbird!

I would offer you everything
But yea I'm nothing at all
I just have the Icarus-wings
Determined to let me fall

I can't deal with my emotions
Sorry, I'm not worth a glance
Ignore my pathetic notions
You just caught me off balance

Celestial Dreams

I'm deep inside the night with a smile on my face
My soul goes on a flight, getting out of my place
Floating with the clouds, shining with the stars
Leaving the crowd behind, breaking out the bars

My journey continues as the dawn breaks
The city underneath slowly awakes
But I'm already awake, having a daydream
I dream of a soul that doesn't fit the scheme

Time is passing by, but not my joy
Because my dreamworld is all mine to enjoy
Whatever I need is whenever there for me
Whomever I want is wherever here with me

In my dreamworld, the whole world is mine
Especially the one that makes it all divine
The one who gives me power to cross the line
More than any word could ever define

__________________________________

The first poem I wrote together with my dear friend Allie, who is my Flame of Inspiration, feeding the miserable sparkle I have for poetic ideas these days. Very special thanks to her, for making me write again, and also for making my days recently, every day again and again... I most probably will never be able to redeem all the happiness she's been giving me lately. (:
Thanks again, and I hope we make a habit of this. =)

Relief

Every night I see the moon
I know they will hurt me soon
Every time I want to cry
You tell me a lovely lie
Every time I want to fall
You just simply heal it all
Every day I see the sun
Reminds me that you're the one

You're the one for whatever
Whenever
Wherever

Csendélet

A sors jobbra-balra rángat
Míg süti a hold pofánkat
Kertünkben nem állít magának palotát Kubla kán
Mert mi csak zöld taknyok vagyunk
Sokasodunk, szaporodunk
S szétkenődünk tüsszenetként a busz hideg ablakán

Furor Teutonicus

[Stefan der Schwabe]
All ye mighty Ladies and Lords!
Let me show my company!
Bow before my boreal hordes
You are in my custody!
I am Stefan, gentle-hearted
Leader of the Swabians
Your life will be soon departed
Your weak arms mean no defense!

[Roman Centurion]
I’m Centurion Flavius,
Servant of the Emperor!
My ancestors were patricians,
I’m a full-time conqueror!
You barbarians disgust me,
I have met your kind before!
Just an hour, and your dirty
Nordic blood covers the floor!

[Stefan der Schwabe]
What do you say, filthy Roman!
I finish you, just you wait!

[Roman Centurion]
Soon our hands will show your omen,
You will never reach the gate!

[The Visionary Chronicler]
It happens as I have forseen
On this dawn of German wrath
Human corpses cover all green
As the Romans fight to death
In a sudden, deadly moment
The Swabian stabs his sword
Through the chest of the old Roman
Before he could say a word

[Stefan der Schwabe]
As I told you, aristocrat,
Nobility’s not present
As you lay there, soon you are dead
It must be quite unpleasant
How we, the savage people
Crush the corrupt Empire
As we drown the Roman eagle
In eternal hellfire!

[Roman Centurion]
Regardless of what I say now
You will soon get through the wall
As no matter why, when or how:
Empires are born to fall
People blinded by the power
Control masses of their own
When it comes to zero hour
Someone else sits in the throne...

[The Visionary Chronicler]
It was death what their swords carried:
Soon the Empire perished
And the Germans gladly married
Local women they cherished
Some hundred years in the future
Once the rampant conqueror,
The student became the teacher,
Holy Roman Emperor...

Song to Autumn

I wake up in the deepest night
Under the light of sleeping stars
I mourn the times it was all right
When I didn’t have these deep scars
I sit down next to the fire
Where dark visions start to haunt me
My soul shakes from dead desire
Because I miss what we could be

I hear nearby minstrels singing
Sounds of flutes fill my emptiness
My spirit merges with the spring
I get far away from distress
And I hear the violins cry
My tears start to flow like rivers
I feel the spirit of love die
My body gives its last shivers

Why did it have to happen this way?
Why did we have to fail?
We said we will hold on, come what may
Why didn’t love prevail?
Springtime of my being starts today,
Yet I’m so sad and pale
Because Autumn is so far away,
She won’t leave me a trail...

Crush Misery

I defy you, soulmonger
I don’t care if you tread on my hand
I can’t go on much longer
But your destructive reign shall soon end
Right, I’m fallen on the ground
You feel strong cause I am defenseless
You make me a slave hands bound
But Hell, how far you are from success!

Don’t you know you help me with my isolation?
Your prison is a place of regeneration
Don’t you see my pain is just mere imitation?
You will feel the burning whips of domination!

I deny you, soulmonger
For you, it seems nothing goes as planned
You only made me stronger
I see you don’t have no friends at hand
I remove every fake wound
My ancient spirit you can’t suppress
I love hearing your last sound
As the fear in your blank eyes confess...

Trying to destroy me was a wrong war to wage
As it was worth nothing but awakened my rage
My hand on this world will bring a new Golden Age!
Your pathetic existence isn’t worth a page

...in the books of history...

Segíts

Öneszményem kristályszobra repedt apró szilánkokra
Egész lényem zuhant porba s megfizettem, úgy hiszem
Vezeklést kívánt a lelkem, hiszen bűn volt, amit tettem
Mert nekem tilos szeretnem, mégis mindig megteszem...
Bennem örvénylő vértenger, szívbe maró sós könnyekkel
Nem is küzdök, úgyis elnyel, nyelvét érzem hátamon
Nem nyújtod felém kezedet, könnyeznek borostyán-szemek
Azt mondod, ha elsüllyedek, múlik majd a fájdalom
Engem a kín nem érdekel, csak ami velem süllyed el
Ha két karod ki nem emel lelkem vörös poklából
Nem zavar már a szenvedés, az sem, ha kísér megvetés
Csak a nap érjen véget és ments ki sötét fogdámból
Szorítsd kezeddel kezemet különben a vér eltemet
Széttépi gyenge testemet, s többé nem érezhetek
Pedig csak az érzés számít, ez az, mi magához csábít
Még úgy is, ha mindig ámít, ettől vagyunk emberek
Ne aggódj, nem temethet el a bánat, tudom, tűrni kell
A fény majd magasba emel még akkor is, hogyha tán
Minden, amit hátrahagyok az lesz, hogy magányos vagyok
Amikor halálra fagyok majd egy téli éjszakán.

A Short One for Her

I feel that motionless thunderstorm
Deep inside your outer shell
When you, upside-down, try to conform
Yourself, it doesn’t go well
That mysterious love’s providing
You all those vital supplies
I will never know the things hiding
Behind that pair of dark eyes

Will I ever know you?

The Goddess of Contradiction

How come she is so lovely
When she says she’s all alone
How can she be so lonely
With hundred friends of her own?
How can she be so caring
While she says she doesn’t care?
How can I feel her sharing
Her pain? I’m not even there
How come she is so freaky
When she’s normal all the way?
How can she understand me
While she locks herself away?
How can she have the power
Which I myself can’t define
And how is she so sour,
Happy, worldly and divine?

Pyramid of Lies

Mess.
Worthless,
And useless.
I’m a liar.
I cut the wire,
Set myself on fire.
In the rain of blood and ink
The licking flames would never think
But there is an end to everything
And the walls of Jericho perished
It will not happen if you wished
Good shall not go unpunished
Fading voice of angels
Undoing dangers
Kill avengers
And the bless:
Last breath.
Death.

Sanctuary

I try to survive every day
Wait for the pain to go away
I try to look like I’m okay
But the price is too much to pay

No matter how I want to hide
Hot tears are washing off my mask
No matter how hardly I tried
Frozen they accomplished their task

I try to keep myself alive
While I don’t want to join the hive
But salvation doesn’t arrive
And I feel too weak to revive

Your soul is my sanctuary
When my troubles make a twister
As it comes closer to bury;
Cheyanne is the name I whisper...